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By the fourth day of our vacation on the islands, we had got used to being stared at.But when curious glances turned to quizzical looks, we began to realise that we were considered an oddity: A brown woman with a white man. ” one of the two women asked me as soon as my husband left my side.“My husband,” I replied after a while, snapping out of savouring my first-ever snorkelling session.She then asked me questions about our wedding and everything that had led to it. I later kicked myself for having misunderstood their questions as friendly banter.” It’s where the joke of Arab women saying “enta awal wahad fi hayati” comes from, Arab women feel the need to lie regarding their romantic history in order to make Arab men feel special… Having been with another person makes you damaged goods, and while not every man carries these backwards ideologies, many still do (see the Scoop Empire comments).When dating outside the Arab society and even diving into a more liberal white society, Arab women don’t have to face judgement, lie about their history, or pretend to be a delicate flower that hasn’t experienced life, or worry about overshadowing an Arab man’s ego.Elephant Beach on India’s Andaman Islands was not where I thought I would have to justify my life choices.Yet, there I was, feet dipped in clear water, staring into the horizon, trying to convince two middle-aged women whom I did not know that the man I was with was indeed my husband.

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“Well if you’ve been physical with me, how do I know you haven’t been physical with other dudes?It's important to remember the distinction between written Islamic teachings and culture in the real world.After 18 months, I went to my first mosque and met other Muslims properly for the first time How does a middle-aged, white Scottish man living in the Scottish Highlands end up becoming a Muslim - especially when he hasn't properly met a Muslim in his life?For Arabs living in North America and Europe (where the majority of the population is white) many Arab women (and men) will opt for dating a white guy. But when eavesdropping on female conversations regarding dating Arab men, other reasons come into play.So what confuses Arab mothers around the world is why wouldn’t their Arab daughter want to be with a person that shares her culture, traditions, values and language.




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What is it, typically, that drives these men into treatment, whether it’s on their own or with their wife? Usually the wife discovers his history on the computer. Even if he’s confused and doesn’t want to come out as gay, this is who he is and over time that will come out. They might be into BDSM or they might be into power exchange, and they think they can only find that with a man.


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